Kevin Pho: Hi, and welcome to the show where we share the stories of the many who intersect with our healthcare system but are rarely heard from. My name is Kevin Pho, founder and editor of KevinMD. Today on the show we have Pamela Wible. She is a family physician, and she’s the author of the free ebook Physician Betrayal: How Our Heroes Become Villains. Pamela, welcome to the show.

Pamela Wible: Thank you so much for having me.

Kevin Pho: So we’ll get into your book and excerpt in a little bit, but first off, can you share your story and journey to where you are today?

Pamela Wible: I’m a family physician. Both my parents are physicians. They warned me not to pursue medicine. And their warnings were economic predictions that have come to pass—loss of physician autonomy, assembly-line medicine, seven-minute visits. What they never warned me about was the emotional impact of the career. So all economic, not emotional. Never once did they talk about their own anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts. And so I was left in a very isolated state feeling like I was the oddball, the only one having mental health problems, and come to realize we have a real physician suicide crisis that I stumbled upon by personal experience.

Kevin Pho: Of course, you need no introduction in terms of being at the forefront of bringing awareness to physician mental health and physician suicide. Tell me how you first got interested in this issue. And when did you realize that it is such a big issue?

Pamela Wible: We had three physicians that died by suicide in my town, in Eugene, Oregon, in just over a year. And that was in 2012. I was suicidal in 2004, and at the time, I thought I was literally the only suicidal physician that ever walked on this planet.

I’m currently writing my memoir and as I examine my repressed memories from childhood, I’ve realized, “Oh, yes, my mother is a suicidal psychiatrist.” I think I hid that from myself. A lot of us hide our own personal pain because it’s just too much. When I’ve been asked, “Why do you run a suicide helpline?” I’ve said, “Because I survived suicide as a physician, so I want to help my peers.” That’s a superficial answer. The truth is I was an embryo inside of a suicidal psychiatrist so I feel I’ve been running a suicide helpline since I was born or conceived, quite honestly. So I guess that would be the true answer.

Kevin Pho: So you mentioned you run a suicide helpline for healthcare professionals. Please talk more about that.

Pamela Wible: I never intended to run a suicide helpline, yet people were utilizing me as a suicide helpline. Since 2012, when I became vocal after the deaths in my town, people have been wanting to tell me the suicide stories of their children in residency, in medical schools. Suicidal doctors and med students are contacting me—even internationally from Germany and Poland. Especially amid the pandemic, I had a greater influx of calls. I do have a lot of passion for this, and people seem to be thanking me for helping them stay alive. At one point the most common first line in an email from those who sought my help was “I would have been one of your statistics, but you answered the phone, I read your article, I saw you on KevinMD or read your book.” If that’s the response, I feel compelled to keep going. Read more ›