After our boisterous business mastermind, I’m inspired to share how to identify (& care for) red flag patients. All true stories. Enjoy!
Patient not comfortable providing credit card, but totally fine with my finger on his prostate.
After rectal exam, elderly man says, “too bad we’re both married—we should date!”
Woman on 30 different supplements for aging.
Long list of allergies to all pain meds—except narcotics.
Badmouths all other docs, but loves me! (so I’m 2-weeks away from being on her shit list).
End of first visit, man asks if I’m okay with a hug. Two minutes later, I can’t get away.
Wants “everything” done today—cause it’s covered by insurance.
Goes to multiple pharmacies, in multiple states with scripts from multiple doctors.
Narcotics stolen again. But has police report with official logo for Birmingham UK police. We live in Alabama.
Stealing her kids Adderall.
On disability & drug contract (old doc never did pill counts). Used cocaine in past, but flies to Florida monthly, fancy jeans, gold jewelry.
New patient SO glad she found me. Wants a pelvic exam, I read her name on chart. She’s my boyfriend’s ex who just ripped rose bush out of his yard when they split up last month.
You take care of married Korean couple. Husband brings mistresses to physical.
😱 🤮 😳
More identification clues & checklist in our mastermind highlight reel below (along with practical solutions!). With strong boundaries & clear communication, we can properly care for these often delightful & truly fascinating people.
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This beats what coffee store workers see in all the customers who can’t seem to follow instructions hands down. Ha!
An other funny one, A chronic pain patient on oxycontin, He wants a refill because his dog ate his pain meds? I was doing PMR and have heard these stories. So I said let me talk to your vet. He gave me the number. Damm the vet confirmed that his dog had respiratory depression and they found ocy in his stomach.
Well Pam I am familiar with a lot of the things you said. Here is a funny one involving a patient complaint of me at Kaiser.
A middle age guy. 5cm scalp lac down to the peri- osteum .
He had aa full head of hair. I said I can do a plastic closure and it would take 30 minutes
or I could jut close it with a staple gun and an it would take 3 minutes. He said just staple it.
6 months later he had some form of alopecia so he shaved his scalp. Now is is pissed about the cosmesis. The Stanford surgeon that trained me backed me up.
I had to go to a hearing. It was thrown out. My notes clearly indicated that I gave him options and did what he wanted.
What a waste of time.